Whitney Houston (1963-2012)

I can't sing.
It's not my gift.
If I could, I would want to sing just like you.
Thank you for sharing your gift.
Your songs accompanied me through my growing up years and listening to them evoke many happy, priceless memories.
You left for a better place and is now safe in our heavenly father's arm.
RIP Whitney. Your music will live on and so will you .... in our hearts.

The creative me...?

I encourages my kids to draw and paint; basically to experiment with colours. I love colours but I cannot draw. I can do abstract and love doing patterns. I love texture. I love colours...oh, I already mentioned that earlier.

Here's something I did. After finishing this piece, I think I can improve it further. I already got another "tree" in my head. I can see it clearly... how the branch look like, how the leaves will appear. I just need time to let it come to life. Therefore, this will do for the time being.  

TGIF

This has been a particular long week. Had an important meeting on Friday afternoon and the last 2 weeks was spent making sure we got every single details right......so, as you can tell, I am glad that the meeting was a success and it's FINALLY OVER.

I can now move on to tackle the rest of the things which are piling up. Gotto love my job, otherwise it will be a chore going to work everyday. Have to find the meaning in the things I do. It's now Friday evening, my favourite day and time of the week coz this means that my weekend is still young. Woo hooo....have a good weekend everyone !

Not Good Bye

I was on an emotional roller coaster lately.

It started when my best friend Sham (We are Siamese twins, according to friends) confirming the date she and her entire family will be leaving for London. Her hubby will be based there for the next few years. I knew of this a few months back BUT have been pushing it aside; I guess it was MY WAY of dealing with that.

When she told me the date, it was less than a week before they fly and I panicked; for me and for her as well. It was a good thing that Sham was busy sorting out everything; from the kids school leaving certificates to her ASTRO bills. I remembered being sad and quiet as I go about doing my daily chores and going through my routine and work. It's very difficult to describe.......the feeling of being happy and sad at same time on the same event. I think Sham knew what I was going through and she ended up sending me encouraging messages instead!

I am happy for her and the kids on their new adventure in London, to experience how it's like living there, the new places they will be visiting and exploring, the new friends they will be making etc. I am happy that the kids will have the opportunity to study there as well. It's indeed an opportunity of a lifetime.

But, at the same time, I am sad that I will not be able to see her often or as and when I wish. What will happen to our weekly lunch date? How about our almost daily calls to update each other on our lives? Also the occasional time where I will take leave from work just to chill at her home and with the kids fighting for my attention, I feel like a Queen!!I will definitely miss her word of wisdom, her insights and also her scolding as she knows that she is the only person who gets away with that and I actually listen. I may dare say that I will be a spoil brat, an irritant if not because of her.

When the actual day came, I was more miserably than ever. I actually did not plan to go to the airport to see them off as I did not want to flood the place but I'm very glad that I did. Her friends and relatives were there. As I watched them going in, I knew they will be fine as long as they have each other. I was calm and that happened a week ago.

Since then, we have skyped, emails been flying back and forth and we yahoo message each other whenever we have the time. Yes, we are connected, in a different way. I'm in touch with what she's going through and vice-versa. We just need to manage the time difference. So it was almost like good old time.

It was never good bye. Thank God for technology, I am smiling.

Me and The King's Speech

I am still not good at doing self-portrait. Loads of practices needed and a long way to go. After snapping more than a dozen shots, am satisfied with only one. One better than none.

I watched the King's Speech with my best friend Sham and I hope Colin Firth will get his Oscar (he's the favourite to nail the award) and I'm now a fan of Helena Bonham Carter. Googled about her and in awe with her quirkiness and confidence. Looking forward to see what she'll be wearing to the Oscar.

Teambuilding @ Gopeng with Nomad Adventures

I was away for a few days sometime in February for my company's teambuilding. Needless to say, when they broke the news to me, I was so not looking forward to be away from my family and I dread that day.

But that day came and on the way to the camp site, I was busy thinking about the stuff I planned when "it's finally over" ..... so that I can get on with my life !!!

But life is indeed full of surprises and I actually had fun when I was there. I did whitewater rafting (level 3), rock climbing and I did the "leap of faith" where you are suppose to just jump down a platform with safety harness attached. It's some sort like bungee jumping but much, much milder. I did not join the rest when they went caving. But that was okay, especially when some of them saw a small green snake among the rocks. Eeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuu....scary, I am frighten of snake. Any kind. Yikkkeee.

All in all, it was fun be doing things which I did not even thought I would be doing in the first place. Here's a summary of what happened:

Whitewater rafting
We rode behind a lorry to the destination which was a 15-minute ride. It was hot and I can feel the lorry going up and down, up and down, sway to the left, up and down and soon enough, I felt nausea. Me and my motion sickness. I ended up vomitting even before the first activity.

I was then given the option to go back to the camp site to rest. But I decided to give it a go. What makes me pursue when they gave me an opportunity to chicken out? I'm not sure how to answer that and what came over me. I do know however that if I do not give this a go, I will regret it, for not trying. And it was horrifying. I was nearly flung out of the boat thrice. Thanks goodness for Apec, the Nomad facilitator who "saved me" by holding on to my life jacket while trying to make sure that the boat remain afloat and safe. A big thank you to him for making my first and last water rafting an enjoyable experience.




Rock Climbing
I don't think they took any photos of us doing rock climbing but I did it even though the climb was just a short one. The most important lesson here is I tried.

Leap of Faith
Now this is something which I did not planned to do....I can't see myself jumping down from that platform....no matter how safe it is and no matter how my other colleagues manage to do it. I was among the last few who attempted this and I do need to give myself a pat at the back for conquering this fear. Would I do it again, I dunno. Life is too short to be wondering about it. I will decide when the time comes.

I have a good time there and I came back home with a renewed feelings. There are many lessons learnt there. Many are for keeps. I know now that:

Sometimes, it is us who put the boundry of what we can or cannot do. In any given situation, we should first conquer our fear. As I have experienced, when we start doing the task, we will find that it is not as difficult as what we perceived or make it to be in the first place. Along the way, with each and every small victories, one will be more confident to move forward and before you know it.......it's done.

We are capable of doing much more if we allow ourselves to try it in the first place. "I think and therefore I am".......... if you think you can, you can. Therefore always think positively.....about yourself and your ability.

This trip have indeed left a good impact on me.

My Birthday "cake"

Nearly forgotten to upload my birthday "cake" which I bought for myself and savoured with my Aunties. Hubby does not like durian. Haha...I had wanted to buy a durian cake but did not manage to get one in time, no thnaks to my dillydally-ing.

So I was thinking, why not get the real thing instead. The candles are for special effect but we did lit it up and me blowing them. The "cake" was yummy and yes, I can be a bit cRazY!

Happy Birthday to Me

I celebrated my 38th birthday ..... yeap ~ 38th. I feel old just thinking about the number and in another 2 years, I will hit the big 40. The truth is, I don't feel like I am in my thirties.....the twenties will be more appropriate, eventhough I don't look like one.

Like it or not, I'm already half way there and my age will just grow and grow (although I'm in denial), so I better make full use of everything. I will take good care of myself and as a promise to me-self.......to live my life to the fullest.

Happy Birthday to me (and many many more to come) !!!

2009 into 2010: Time to Reflect

A few more hours and it will be a brand new year and I am not exactly excited and this is bad.

I should not be negative and I will not be negative.

There's more to life and just as there are a zillion reasons to complains, there are also a zillion more reasons to rejoice.

The glass is either half empty or half full ...... it's what we peceived based on the same thing.

I will be fine ..... I know I will. Good bye 2009. I do not know what's in stored for 2010 but knowing me, I will make the most out of it......stay true and stay healthy.

I am in control

The last few months were tiring and challenging. Work is as hectic as ever and deadlines are deadlines, period. It's not only work......I feel that I'm letting others and situations to dictate my emotions....and yes, this is bad. Generally, I just feel as if I'm no longer in control of my own emotions.

However, my aha-moment was during one of my conversation with my better half. He said "you are a victim only if your allow yourself to be one". (Adapted from a quotation from Eleanor Roosevelt; "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"). I thought about it, long and hard. He's more objective than me as I'm more emotional...and yes, he's right.

That was a few days ago and I am slowly getting back into my old routine....deadlines are still deadlines...yes, but something can wait.......and that includes my blackberry.

Michael Jackson (1958 ~ 2009)

I am a fan of Micheal Jackson and I love his songs, MTVs, dance. For me, he is a legend, an icon.

I watched his last rehearsal video from Youtube a moment ago and I feel sad that he did not get the chance to perform. Although the video is short, he was full of energy and he was simply mesmerising. I believe his comeback concert will be awesome.

May God bless his soul and let him rest in peace, away from his worldly suffering.

Tarot Card Reading

Did this for FUN and here's the result. All I had to do is answer a series of questions and viola, out came a card. Wish that life is that easy.....

You are The Wheel of Fortune

Good fortune and happiness but sometimes a species of
intoxication with success

The Wheel of Fortune is all about big things, luck, change, fortune. Almost always good fortune. You are lucky in all things that you do and happy with the things that come to you. Be careful that success does not go to your head however. Sometimes luck can change.

I'm everywhere but with that VOID feeling

I have not been updating my blog.
I have not been taking any photos.
I have not been time with my kids.
I have not been making effort to communicate with hubby.
I have only complete half on my January's to do list.

Instead.....I have been....
Working my ass off but all my efforts seems to be futile. I'm not getting the result I want and things is just not moving. Argh.....I really, really need to restrategise. I just cannot go on like this.
No me time. No family time. I will be burnt out. Time for a break and think about my next move.

36th Birthday

Celebrated my 36th birthday with my loved ones. I'm one year older and certainly much, much wiser. Feeling good and counting my blessings everyday.

Shirley's Goals: January 2009

What I'm up to this month?

1. Have the "monthly meeting" with hubby sometime 2nd week of January to plan for family related activities for the month.
2. I will go the the gym after work and for a start, it will be at least once a week with plans to increase in the future. For January 2009, I must make sure that I "check-in" for at least 4 sessions.
3. I desperately need to go for my facial.
4. Sign Ryan up for his swimming lessons, which is long, long overdue.
5. I'll be looking forward to celebrate Chinese New Year towards the end of the month. Besides the normal preparation, I plan to get new deco for the house.
6. Learn a new dish.
   
7. Read and review a book.
8. Takes more photos and post them up in my Flickr.

2008 into 2009: Time to Reflect

A few more hours before the new year arrive. I'm taking this opportunity to reflect and also to plan forward. Overall, 2008 has been a very blessed year for me.

• It marks the arrival of Caitlin after a not-so-easy pregnancy.
• Hubby is happier at work.
• Ryan is growing into a fine young boy and he's coping well with all the changes and challenges. I'm especially proud of him for making good progress in his Mandarin. Although he can be difficult at times, I'm happy to note that he's teachable and he will listen if we put in the effort.
• I got a promotion at my workplace and was also transferred to a new department. A new adventure for me and I hope I made a good choice on that career move.
• Everyone is healthy and happy.

There are also the down side but I prefer not to dwell in them. Life is no perfect and I'm learning to cope the best I can. I noticed that I can get easily stressed in my new position. Little things which did not bother me in the past now does. I guess, it's easier to stay positive when you are not tested. Easier said than done. Whatever it is, I'm happy to receive Hubby's blessing in all that I do. Family is precious to me and it's them that I should be focusing my energy to.

Moving forward, there's so much more that I want to accomplish. I shall list them here to remind myself, something like a resolution and I will do monthly review and hopefully 12 months later, I would have achieve most of them.

For 2009, I want to:

• be more healthy and lose at least 5 kg through healthy living, exercising and eating.
• have monthly meeting with hubby to plan for family activities. I used to do this but somehow I have given them up. Will continue with this good practice.
• read more, at least one book a month and practice all good things.
• learn basic makeup.
• be more positive and energised. Try not to let small issues get the better of me.

I will fine tune the list as I go along but whatever it is, my priority is to be there for my family. Year 2009 will no doubt be challenging, with all the prediction of an economic-financial-crisis-meltdown but I think as a family, we will be able to weather them all. Happy New Year and have a blessed year ahead.

Fire

We were informed that a fire broke out on Saturday night (20 Sept 2008) and burnt down the entire row of shop houses including that of my uncle's. We were all devastated. Hubby drove all of us back to Teluk Intan the following morning. We wanted to be there to give uncle and family morale support.

The shop was first rented by my grandfather, a fruit wholesaler, more than 50 years ago. When grandpa retired, my uncle took over. Initially, uncle sold and repaired bicycles. Thereafter, he gave up and turned it into an electrical shop, specialising in TV repairs. It remain as that until, well, today.

I have many, many fond memories at that place since I spent a good part of my childhood there. Due to its strategic location, the shops were always full of people with all sorts of activities going round ~ and I, a curious child, was fascinated. I was allowed to roam freely as folks there knew each other well and they always looked out for me. My favourite shops, apart from Grandpa's of course, were a sundry shop selling biscuits, candies and other goodies in large through glass jars and a coffee shop where I can buy delicious steam kaya pau, porridge and assam laksa ......yummy, yummy.

I'm sad seeing the place burnt down. No sure what's going to happen next.

Book: The Collected Short Stories by Jeffrey Archer

Managed to finish this book. Since these are short stories, the plot are much simpler but still entertaining....after all it's a Jeffrey Archer. I'm a fan.

Overall I would rate is a 7.5/10.

One Year of Blogging

I started blogging in August 2007 and it has been a year (in fact, slightly more than a year by the time I post this entry). When I started, I wasn't sure how long I would maintain the blog and how I would feel towards blogging.

Well, now I am proud to say that, I enjoy myself tremendously and will continue to find time (and effort) to continue blogging for many, many years to come (fingers crossed!). I also enjoyed reading other people's blogs and be totally amazed and inspired by them. These people are so creative and fun, making me wish that I have their looks, skills and talents.

Blogging has indeed opened a whole new world for me and I'm now an addict!!!

Inspiration from other Bloggers

Besides "maintaining and updating" my own blog, I do read others, especially women bloggers and I find them to be very inspirational. These writers are so witty, creative and full of energy. Their sites are colourful, interesting and every now and then, they take the effort to introduce new designs to further enhance their already awesome sites.

How I wish I have their skills and can be half as creative?
Well....I might not be in the same league but I do have fun reading their blogs and at the same time, draw inspiration from them. I've also decided that from time to time, I will embark on "mini-projects" to learn new skills. There's so much to learn once you open your mind!!!.